As a 24 year old, I am pretty used to doing the same thing day-in, day-out; or what is usually referred to as the “chores” by some lucky bastards who are yet to fall prey to the ugly reality of post-college life. Yes sir, the ugly reality. I wake up, I go to the office, I come home, I eat, I sleep. And I have been doing it all like an ambition-less clock for the past 2 years and a half. And all this without so much of a choo. Looking at my past, one who has today as his/her vantage point, would probably conclude that I have been bloody lucky to have been doing what I am doing today- earning a good salary, a decent, respectable job, and of course, the perks and the leisures of a good professional life. So why is it that I am writing to you about it? No, I do not want to show my life off to you. You are probably much better off than me right now. But that is the very reason why I am writing to you. That might sound a very sadist propaganda to blog about, and you might as well hate me for it; but in the words of my favorite writer Mario Puzo- “Let me begin. And let me end.”
First of all, let me give you a backdrop of who I am, who I was, and who I wish to be. History was something I always hated, and am sure was something you hated too. So let me keep my history to a minimum number of words. I am a dreamer. Call me a day-dreamer, a stupid jackass who never realized his limits. Yes, call me that. I am more proud of it than anything else. For I have always been taught that dreams will never come true if you shy away from dreaming. A very curious mind, and extremely powerful imagination always kept me closer to surrealism than reality. Add to that a love for science and what do you get? Yes, child aiming for the stars. And literally. I wanted to be an aerospace engineer(no, not an astronaut. I knew what I wanted. Always.) But then I could not get into an IIT. So I took up Mechanical Engineering- at least I was closer to Aerospace was what I convinced myself with. Four years, and I was just a Mechanical Engineer. Average. Average at academics but not at potential. I never understood why I could not score like most others. In my defense, I never even gave it much of a thought. So there I was, an engineer, 21 years of age, with no placements. Recession helped me a lot to not get a job; but that’s another story. You would be amazed to know what a slight failure, as slight as not getting a job before you graduate, can do to your morale. All the talent, that intelligence, that wit, that cheerfulness, that strong-mindedness goes for a toss. And no matter where you are- at home or alone- or who you are with- your parents or your special someone- you are always alone. But it was then that I found a wonderful quality that is trademark to us humans- Hope. It is the singlemost powerful thing that will help you rise from the ashes, much like a phoenix. At such dark times, even the faintest rays of hope can do wonders. I got a job within a month of my exams. That turned the table for me . It marked the beginning of the final second act of my life. Or..was it ?
I started my job with the enthusiasm of a fresher, and carried on along until I was not one. Then followed my first job change, and now I was at a better, bigger, awesome place. I was a senior professional now, life was much better. Set, I thought. This was it. Now if I do not do a single more thing, I would be off to great heights before I knew it. A year down the line, and I was sitting in the same chair solving the same problems, waving my tail to the same set of people and yes, listening to others’ stories of how they achieved greatness. Damn right. The dam had to collapse someday. And the day did come. I was facing the question I found myself running away from. Now staring me blank in the face. I was running away from any possible change. I was lazy, afraid and so used to the life of security that I forgot who I was, what I had been. But the day did come. And it came for good. I was wasting my talent. Yes I was doing breakthrough work at my workplace. Technically challenging, somewhat satisfying. But at the cost of my youth, at the cost of my potential. No the appraisals would not satisfy me anymore. And no, the Best employee award cannot stop me anymore from achieving my potential. I had to do something more; something that would push me, stretch me, challenge me in the face. That drive was missing, that gamble was not there anymore. A probability of 1 never catapulted anybody to greatness. Security is a bitch. It always drags you back. But you have to break the shackles, and let loose. There has to be a bit of instability, always. Calculated risk is the word. And I decided that I had to let go of this life of security, if I had to do something meaningful with it in the larger picture. What followed was routine, but what I am now looking forward to is an education in the USA. Yes, I am planning my Graduate Studies there. This is my shot at a life of meaningfulness. A shot at my dreams. Yes there are odds of failure, but there is that bleak ray of hope. And as I said, that is enough for a Phoenix to rise back to life.
And I am not saying that you run away from security, leave your responsibilities and go lead the life of a Hippie. But do remember, you had dreams too. And if you won’t give yourself an opportunity to fulfill those dreams, nobody will. Face it, nobody gives a shit about you. Every man stands for himself. Give yourself a chance. Who knows, you might just become, what you deserve to become. What I want you to take home from this post is that- if you are satisfied, at any point of your life, just ask yourself a simple question- “Is this what you dreamt of yourself, when you were a child?” And I am sure, the child in you will lead you to the righteous path. Adios.